Key message

Emotion does not undermine professionalism; it deepens it.

It makes care safer, trauma lighter, and grief less isolating.

When professionals allow themselves to be human, they can help others survive the worst moments of their lives.

Despite its importance, the role of authentic emotion in easing trauma and helping families process devastating news is often overlooked.

Healthcare professionals are taught to stay composed and “professional” when delivering life-altering information, from breaking bad news to informing families a loved one has died. Yet research shows that being emotionally attuned, rather than emotionally absent, makes a remarkable difference in how people experience tragedy.

What the research tells us

Qualitative studies on families who received sudden-death notifications from police found that, months later, survivors reported lower distress and fewer symptoms of complicated grief when the notifier showed gentle, authentic emotion (De Leo et al., 2020–2023). Families described officers who spoke softly, allowed tears to well in their eyes, or showed visible humility as:

-          more compassionate

-          more trustworthy

-          more “human”

-          and ultimately, less traumatic to receive news from

In contrast, notifications delivered in a strictly “professional,” detached manner were often remembered as cold, shocking, or even harmful. This echoes earlier policing literature, which notes that while culture expects officers not to cry, recipients often find warmth and shared emotion less brutal (Kirschman, Kamena & Fay, 2014).

Why emotion helps

Humans naturally regulate emotion together. In moments of crisis, people need witnessing, connection, and a sense that the person speaking to them has a heart. Authentic emotion is not sympathy or emotional over-identification, it is compassion in action.

Families who receive vague, detached, or impersonal information reported feeling isolated, overwhelmed, or abandoned. Those who experience even small signs of attuned emotion reported feeling more supported, dignified, and less alone.